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you are Hey Prairie, Lakes. I am here with my friend Phil Adam. And Phil agreed to do this with us. So I'm really thankful for that. Yeah, you're welcome. So Phil you live in Cedar Falls? What do you do? I do. So I am the general manager of a local bar downtown called Uncle Harry's five and dime Tavern. Okay, and this is a business. You've been in a long time. Yeah. I've been in the service industry for approximately 20 years now Harry's we've been open nine years. So I've been there since day one. Wow. Okay, give us a little background on on you. You're an Iowa boy. So where'd you grow up?

What was like, I grew up in a rural community in southeast Iowa farming Community, you know, very small. Went to a small little high school called Pekin Peak and peacock good he can pack wood. What was the mascot Panthers the Panthers? That's right. So no just I mean, I only had my hometown probably only has 500 people in it. Wow. Yeah, so real small out of town and you grew up on a pretty significant Farm now pretty good big farming operation. Yeah, my parents are hog farmers down there. So they there was always a short never a shortage of word. So were you a farm kid that really had to work on the farm? Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah like everyone else so they would talk about what they, you know, we'd come back from Christmas Vacation and I was like, oh, I went sledding blessing that would you do on like I ran a pressure washer for 14 hours a day for eight days straight. There you go. Good. They just kind of look at me and be like dude. Yeah. Yeah, so you were a real farm boy. Yeah, you're real form boy. Okay, so growing up family was like Mom Dad and siblings.

Yep. Three older siblings that were significantly older than me. I basically grew up kind of like an only child almost because my my closest sibling is 12 years older than me. There's will get there. Yeah. So I mean I barely even remember my siblings being at home. You know, I always remember them being in college for the most part. Yeah, and you guys along with your family you you also had though like workers that work lived on your farm too, right? Yeah, my parents my parents if they can they can retain them at any given time have four to six full-time employees. Wow, so it's pretty big operation. Yeah. Yeah. There's never a shortage of work. Yeah. That's right. So so Phil when you were growing up in your home Pretty healthy home. Yeah looking back. You know, we all all of us are you know this functional to a degree right? But looking back pretty healthy. Yeah pretty good home. Yeah, and you know my very, you know, parents are very good salt to the Earth and good natured people. I mean my dad was school board president for and more years than I was many years as I was probably been alive, you know, he was school board president when all my older siblings were going through school when I was in school stick around when my niece some of my nieces and nephews were through school. Like I think my dad was Schoolboy president for 40 two or three years or something like, you know, just good salty.

You're expected nice people. Yeah and commitment to your community. Yeah, all the good Iowa stuff that's fantastic growing up spiritually or religiously, what was it? Like what were you guys so I grew up in the Catholic Church. My my parents are, you know, pretty devote Catholics, you know, that's that's how they raise, you know small farming Catholic community and Southeast Iowa. That's how my grandparents were. You know, they're my great grandparents.

Know my great-grandparents and grandparents are actually some of the founding founders of what was my like my original like grown church. We attended growing up. Really? Yeah, we were on like the board for the creation and building of it. Okay. Wow, so really kind of the deep Family Catholic Family connection. It really kind of deep like that. And were you guys active? Oh you go and absolutely every every Saturday night start at Mass man. That's right because we couldn't go on Sunday morning because guys Mom and Dad we had to get up a chore.

That's right morning. So it was always Saturday night. Yeah, so until I turned 16 and could I got my driver's license and I can get up and go on Sunday morning. It was had everything I did on Saturday night had to get planned to be about after 6:30. There you go. Yeah, so 5:30 mass literally it was religious. I mean you were you were there. Okay. So when when you were in your home was You guys talk about God a lot or pray and all that or is it more of a just a church thing? Um, mainly at church thing. I mean we'd always say grace before a meals, you know stuff like that. I wasn't a lot of deep philosophical conversation about you know, belief of religious belief, you know, meaning of life kind of stuff, right? Yeah. Yeah more private. Yeah religious a little more personal rather than yeah. Yeah, that's not unusual for Islands either.

So so at some point you kind of pushed away from the church. When was that? I would say that probably started somewhere around 17. Okay, I mean what I mean?

it was When it was every you know growing up, that's the last thing you want to do every Saturday night. Yeah, you know you want to go have fun with your friends go see Tim Hadley or whoever down the road. There you go. So every a I would say it probably started somewhere, you know around that age and You know and not only Not only was it every Saturday night. I was an altar boy until I was oh 16 also so every Saturday night. I was up there serving Mass. You know, if I'm from the time I was probably 12 on actually maybe even sooner that maybe 10 on Wow, you know, so there's just there's a lot of regimented structure and things that were expected of me as far as you know, we're going to church while you're serving Mass. You know, Mom and Dad would you know, they would be the Eucharistic ministers and stuff like that, you know, so yeah, so it was it was you're gonna go we're gonna go this is what we do. Yeah, then you get your 17 or whatever you can kind of make your own decision then well, you know, it's you well you do a most teenagers do is they have some sort of rebellious. Yeah instincts that come out, you know, that was my rebellious Instinct, you know, like I've been made to do this my whole life. I don't want to do this right now. Yeah, right, right.

So right now when it comes to church or religion or God what would you kind of consider yourself? What would you you see I'm Catholic. I'm Christian. I'm how would you describe your kind of spiritual life right now? I mean if people kind of because every once in all that question will be asked of me. You know, I always say, you know, I was born and raised Catholic just non-practicing currently. I don't I believe that there's something out there for you.

I just haven't figured out what that is for me personally yet. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think you're you're not alone in that there's God's out there somewhere. I'm not sure what what he's like or what what he does but there's something out there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's good middle of the road on that. You know, I'm just not sure where I'm at, but I don't you know disbelief, but I don't believe I'm not just haven't found my my calling so to speak. You know, what what's gonna drive me and my my faith-based decisions. Yeah, and I think that's a little bit fill our you know, our our friendship or one of the reasons. I like you is you're there's some authenticity to you. You're not trying to pretend you're something you're not but you're not, you know you when I show up you're establishment. You don't go all the pastors here, you know, we were we came friends. You know, that's one thing I like about you. Let's go back to high school and a little bit. Okay, so you're in high school. I'll kind of kid. Are you?

The Jock good, you're an athlete, you know, I grew up with a pretty amazing group of people. You know, there's a lot of really wholesome. At you know solid individuals, I'm you know, we'd go out when my friend we go out. You know, I grew up. There was 56 people in my entire graduating class from high school. So obviously not a lot, you know, we'd go out there would be 20 of us. That would be all out hanging out on every weekend night. Yeah and just still to this day we all keep in touch. Yeah. We're 20 plus years later. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah, so you're an athlete so you kind of what in the jot group, right? Yeah. There was one just stay out of trouble for the most part.

Yeah. I've never been arrested John. Come on. Well, I wasn't going to prison around here. I mean, you have to create your own fun in southeast, Iowa sometimes a little bit but no I wasn't. I wasn't exactly a saint but I definitely wasn't.

Yeah, you weren't a complete knucklehead. No. Okay, that's good to know. All right, so you got a high school. What happens in? What do you came to you? And I okay. So that's your Cedar Falls connection. Yep. Okay, so brought me to see your Falls. Okay, and and how was you and I for you? I enjoyed my time at you and I If I hadn't got hooked into the wonderful industry that I work in currently, I probably would have left Cedar Falls. But yeah, I got into this industry and mclutting for punishment. So here I am you're in a tough business right now.

All right. So Phil let's talk about this. This thing called The Church, okay. You you don't attend church. You don't attend Prairie legs, you know, which is a real problem. Let's start with that. Okay, you've been trying you've been trying you even recruiting. I've been recruiting hard on you for a while what keeps you away Phil keeps you away from this thing called The Church.

Like I touched on before I just don't think I've found. A place for it in my life yet, you know, I haven't found that calling that's pulled me to have to make a decision on. Where my faith is and what I need from?

Like a spiritual aspect yet. Yeah, you know, sometimes people, you know had to have a traumatic illness or a you know, they suffer a terrible loss or something and that you know that you know that that's like the calling that they need that inspires them to find that you know, faith-based decision and I just don't think I've really come across that calling yet.

Yeah, you haven't found yourself and I mean you have that easy life, but you haven't found yourself with the the bottom of the barrel. Yeah, I'm I don't even know what to do. I'm yeah, I'm lost. Yeah. Yeah, so that would kind of be your I don't know who's there anything that was there anything that happened negatively with the church that made you kind of just go?

there was One thing when I was I was probably not 12 to 14 age range our church had a very charismatic Pastor. He was just, you know, very inspirational. Everybody loved him. Lots of charisma.

and it turned out he came to light that he'd been embezzling bunches and bunches and bonuses of money from the church. And obviously he was no longer with our our church anymore, you know, but like he was you know, he was related very well to me, you know as a young, you know, preteen I guess or whatever you call him now.

Yeah, and you know, so that kind of stung a little bit like, you know, I'd kind of put my trust in him a little bit, you know as a person even on a personal level let alone as a you know, religious level or Pastor, you know, and it's kind of like really he did that, you know like that kind of stung a little bit. I mean it didn't I wouldn't say that that was like a defining moment, but it was something that you know left a negative impression with me. Absolutely. Yeah, you know, we we talk about this a lot. There's a lot of what we would call Church hurt and you know people been hurt by the church or let down by a pastor or let down by an organization. Yeah. There's a lot of that out there you get into those kind of conversations at Harry's. Do you have those conversations with people? I know you're Busy a lot and well, you know, you know, there are there's rules about things you don't talk about large. Okay religion and politics. Yeah, it never never works out that way. It's almost a guarantee and especially in today's State of Affairs. Somebody's gonna talk about one of those two. It's not at some point.

But yeah, I'm I don't really I haven't really encountered much of you know, like the religious like letdown type of conversation. Okay. So okay are there conversations about like church or Christianity or God that kind of come up? I know we have a Bible study there. So there's a little bit of that going on but every once in a while, it's It just depends on the crowd and the people, you know, it's like anything else.

There's so many variables that come into play when you put groups of people together. Yeah, you know conversations. Can they vary a lot? Trust me? Yeah. Yeah. Imagine you you feel like you're a pastor sometimes to people and then some yeah Pastor guidance counselor therapist really parents.

Actually you you have a lot of it to actually a pretty good place for to help people. Yeah. It really is that's pretty cool and you've got the right feel one of the things I like about you and your personality is you make everybody feel welcome and you're easy to talk to and I think that really plays well for you. We've got a pastor opening if you'd like to that's what's well, you know, I'm always looking to make more money. What's up?

Good not sure we can hit that so Phil right right. Now when I say the word church and you know, I've invited you that, you know different times and I try to Obviously, I don't do it the way that's offensive. I hope now he don't but when you when you hear the word church kind of what comes into your mind when you hear church when when I say come to church sometime or come to this service what comes to your mind or you hear people talking? What church what's that mean?

What's a mean or what do I in? What do you think? What do you think? Yeah what I mean thanks to you like instantly when some you know, if the first mental image that pops into my head is, you know, the church churches. I attended growing up like just the mental image of the Altar and the crucifix and you know, like that's the first thing that pops into my head and then yeah, you know, if you started when taking a step farther, you know, I started okay want to talk about church, you know, it's well.

A place of belonging and like how do I say this soul searching so to speak you know like okay. Yeah. It's absolutely a place of purpose for okay, you know, okay, you know, sometimes people need to please need a purpose a calling that calling that I keep referencing, you know. Yeah, so you don't have necessarily like a real negative picture.

I mean you have that one experience. It wasn't so great. Yeah, but I don't have like this on a church sucks or you know, you don't really have that no and they're all Hypocrites or anything not all that. You don't that's not really your experience. No, okay. Okay good. You think honey you're kind of your employees or your friend group and you know you have and you have a wide friend group you do rag Brian you snowmobile in the winter. And and obviously when you're own you're gonna run a bar and the town like Cedar Falls, you're gonna have a lot of people know you you think about that Circle Could you put me?

Same question. What would they think about the church you got any feel for that? I would say. That's a tough question, John. I don't really think that I generally have had many of those conversations with people. I've encountered within like my call my friend group, you know, yeah.

some I know I mean some people that are my friends they're not Closer queenses, you know, they're extended friends, you know, you have your inner circle of friends. Yeah you that, you know of, you know, your inner circle of friends that you know, you know everything about they know everything about you and then you have like that next tier of people that you know, you know a little bit of their story whatever then you know have people that you know, their first names kind of what they do and you know, you can joke with them, but you don't it's not like you have their phone number right? There's that tier, you know, so it just depends on your relationship with somebody to the amount of depth you want to go to as far as you know conversations and what you know about them and what they know about you and so my meet my good the people that are in that, you know, the close Circle, I mean, obviously I know you know, if they're you know, if they're religious or you know, if they go to church every weekend or you know, whatever right you have many people in your county what you'd call your your inner circle of friends that are what you would call Christians or religious or Germany in there like that. Yeah, okay.

And that's not an issue. No, they're weird for in any way not for me. I don't know if it is for them that I'm not religious. He's ever been people who are Christians that have invited you or you've already awkward encounters with church people or Christians. Not really actually nothing that come to mind anyway, okay.

Okay, so in in all of your think back all the way like maybe to high school until now have you been invited very often to church or to an event or something? It would be Christian. Have you been invited people tried to other than me try to get their arm around you or if you've been invited to a lot of things like in high school that you have FCA when you were you and I did you go to any Christian things. Um, I went once just whatever the thing you used to have at. I used to have to the union that you and I basically is that what was that what it's called? I don't know. I just always remember it was on Thursday nights. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Okay. That's okay.

We're gonna date myself. You're a little bit we're talking like here, but I tend to that once just out of curiosity. Okay, you know freshman sophomore, what more than a sophomore there's somebody invite, you know, I just knew what you existed and I just okay one time just to see what About okay and what was your impression?

honest I little confused. I really wasn't sure what was all transpiring. Okay, you know, I wasn't sure what what was the message exactly like I felt like the message was kind of muddled Okay, so It didn't really resonate with me. Yeah, so you you put yourself in that spot at least once and and it wasn't like Oh my gosh, I got to come back to this. It was more a little more confusion a little bit. I'm not sure what they're doing. Yeah, I'm not sure what the point of this all is right now. Okay, you know, okay interesting. And did you go alone or did you go with some people I went by myself. Okay, you really you were that guy that just showed up. It's not gonna check this out. Yeah, that's pretty cool since then.

Many invites not really, huh? We know that you know, I get still get the traditional Catholic wedding or whatever stuff like that. You know. Yeah Christmas Eve Christmas Eve Mass with the family stuff like that. Yeah. So you're a you're a guy that runs a Tavern a popular Tavern Tavern in Cedar Falls.

You have hundreds of people that come through. On a weekly monthly thousands and a yearly right so you're around lots of people a lot. And in all of that, you're looking me in the eye and say nobody's really invited you into something. I can't say nobody John. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, I was I just always find that fascinating. Yes, you know Prairie Lakes we talked about a little Iowa's right and just I mean you you're planted your little eye one and go be Jesus was skin on I mean just be the friend and be a friend and and get them on your arm. We call, you know, get somebody in your arms. So, okay. Yeah, I'm always find that fascinating that you grow up in the heart of Iowa you grew up in a in a in a in a small.

Community you went to college at a State University and now you've lived in Cedar Falls for 20 some 20 three years. Okay almost and I've been 24 so we're about the same you came, but would you come 99? Yeah. Okay. I came in 98. And and all that time you just haven't had.

More invites. Yeah into something. Wow. Okay, that's to me. That's very fascinating. It's very fast to me. Okay, so let me It's actually let me follow that with this so. In your opinion, you know, you're not the expert here. You're a good Iowa boy, right?

What what's wrong? with the church And why isn't the place? That you or a majority of your friends. Go to what's wrong with the church?

I would say that. He really hit me with a hard one here John. Yeah. I don't know if anybody that I really Run with in my circle of friends or anything that would say that there's anything that's negatively wrong. Like, you know, it's I don't believe this like, there's no way you know, there's no no, it's not like it's a like a Darwinism conversation.

And you know, I think it's just something that they're kind of like me or maybe it's just not been a place in their life or they haven't, you know, they haven't really come to terms with what they're looking for on like a spiritual level. So so for you and maybe just by proxy your your friends There's not a real negative view like all the church is full of Hypocrites or the church just wants your money or you know, there's there's not a lot of that not that I've encountered. No, okay.

So for you it really is a more of a phase or season of life or just a kind of waiting for. Something to click or something to happen kind of like that, you know everybody, you know, you gotten find your make your way through life and hopefully you find your place, you know, yes when comes to sort of spirituality. I haven't found my place. Yeah.

Okay, so let's just turn it just a little bit. Outside of like I don't want to call it a crisis but like you maybe a kind of a faith crisis if you go man. I really need to get this thing for outside of that. What would it take? What would it take for Phil to?

To come on my arm. I mean, what would it take? Because you were friends. Yeah, and you know a lot of dudes that go to Prairie Lakes. Yeah a lot of people. What would it take? I don't know what it would take John I'll be honest and that's good. I wish I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't know I think that but that's kind of your theme is it's just it's it's For lack of a better word. It's kind of irrelevant to you right now. Yeah, I just like I said, I haven't found a place for it in my life. Yeah. Yeah, that's okay. That's interesting. Let's let's move it just a little bit here.

When I say Jesus. what's your what's your kind of picture of Jesus? What's your belief about Jesus? Testing your cat testing your catechism or well, what do you want me to you recite off all you know the history better. So I know that you know it in your head. No because you're smart guy, but when I say, you know, hey you we would say step over the faith on and Trust Jesus. What would that what would that what's that when I say that to you? What's that sound? Like what do you think of Jesus when I say that? I mean, I think it's You know, it's that it's not so much. It's what he represents okay to me, you know like that the idea, or the you know, the if you know if it was a legitimate actual person, you know, right but the concept of you know, the fact that somebody that was selfless and was willing to you know, sacrifice himself for the betterment of you know, someone else or you know, you know just didn't Harbor any of the negativity or you know, no matter what like you're you do or who you are what you've done, you know, he's still accepts you for who you are and you know, it's that that concept that thought process. Mm-hmm. Yeah good. So this you have this kind of picture of Jesus as this substitutionary sacrifice for people and yeah, okay, very good.

All right. Here's one another one for you that Israel is gonna go. Oh man, you shouldn't what's it take to get to heaven. And doing righteous Deeds, you know treat others how you want to be treated. Okay. Don't be my Esmeralda would laugh at this because I have a term I use a lot it's you know, it's deep some people you you encounter throughout, you know your day to day life, you know, I do they leave an impression with you. I and sometimes it's in a negative way. I was refer to them as garbage people. Yeah, and as we're all just laughed the first time she's like, what's that mean? I'm like, it's that person's a garbage person, you know, there's there's people out there that'll they'll throw their their trash in the neighbor's yard, you know, like just something simple like that, you know, Don't be a garbage person, you know, be nice to people treat others, you know treat other people how you'd want to be treated the Golden Rule man.

Yeah. Yeah. So so for you the kind of the ticket to Heaven is be a good person treat others where you want to be treated Golden Rule. Don't be garbage person. Yeah, and and okay very good. And and what about this this idea fill of you? You've I'm assuming you've heard this before like a moment in your life. When you what we what we call it prayer Lakes calling step over the faith line when we would say there comes this moment when you just go I can't do it.

I can't earn my way and I can't be good enough. I something wrong. I'm sick of myself and it's not self help but it really is kind of a surrender to Jesus. So an old term years ago would have been born again say yes to Jesus we say step over the faith line and you know, let him have you when I say that what does that what does that do for you? What's that? What's that stir up or anything in you?

well, I mean like when you say that it I Envision, you know, somebody that's willing to become basically become vulnerable, you know open themselves up to believing in something that they don't necessarily know about, you know, just putting their faith all in to something that They might not have a clue about you know, they just because of where they're at, you know in their life or whatever, you know, like they they're willing to take that leap. Yeah. Yeah, you'll take some Faith right it take some faith faith in and what we would say faith in someone the name of Jesus. Yeah, Jesus that we'd say. Yeah, absolutely, but you would say that as well. That's that's quite a step to be that vulnerable. Well, I mean think about it like you If you say you know you hit just hypothetically you're Rock Bottom, you know, I need I need.

You know save me, you know, looking for salvation, you know, like you're putting faith in God that you'll you know, that's what's gonna happen. You know, you're gonna find Salvation and your belief and your ax and everything and that's nothing wrong with that. I'd be seen like you I feel like that's making somebody making themselves vulnerable. Yeah, you know like it's your opening yourself up.

Yeah, really the same thing to like in like a marriage, you know, you make yourself vulnerable because you're willing to put your faith and trust in your partner or you know, yeah, it's a certain level of vulnerability that comes with that absolutely when it comes to Are you open Phil to spiritual conversations? Of course?

Yeah. That's not wouldn't be super weird. I mean the context always matters, right but you shouldn't have done adult. You should be able to have an objective conversation. Yeah. Yeah, so that wouldn't that doesn't push you away, you know? Okay. Are you open to let's say for instance. We do our Bible study at your place. And I said Phil will you you should come you should you should do this with us and you know, we take capacity and we talk about it and we talk about what Jesus up to in our life talk about faith. And would you be open to something like that? I'm not inviting you because I don't know if I want to invite you to it or not. You know, that wouldn't be like totally weird for you. You're not like a posed. No, that's down the table with you and the boys and have a conversation. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, that's good. I think I think think a lot of times we have we have people in our Lives who who maybe aren't churchgoers right or art, you know, or or like you are kind of going. I'm not sure. I'm not sure what I believe. I'm not sure what what it is. And we have a tendency to kind of say no for them.

Like, oh, he never he would never do it, you know and so we say no. But you you've just said to me. Yeah, I'd be I'd be I'm an adult I'd be open to that. Yeah. Okay. That's that's good. That's interesting Phil was there ever a time in your life from?

Kid on or maybe let's just talk maybe more adulthood was every time when you felt God that you you know, you're out snowmobile on the stars are out. You stop and you just go home my gosh. I've definitely had that you know that that Sensation or that feeling of you know, awe and wonderment, you know where you're standing there. You just you just stop and you take everything in you know, and you know, if God created it then that's what I'm feeling then but I don't I just don't know if that's what I'm feeling, you know, okay? Yeah.

But yeah, but yeah, definitely that that stop that you know where you just stops you in your tracks and you just you know, take everything in. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, that's pretty cool. One of my one of my contentions is that every one of us every one of us. We would we would take you know created by God and God's got a God's always calling us. God wants us to be his.

And I have this contention that you know. Like no matter right? No matter who you are where you been what you done what's been to he loves you? And there are just every one of us even the hardest of us. has those moments whether it's the middle of the night when you wake up and just something that it's either a kind of a depth or a emptiness in our soul or it's an openness to oh, wow. I feel very small in this giant creation. Yeah. Do you agree with that? Absolutely, okay.

very good There's other people out there that that are in your same shoes lots of Iowans. What I would say, we kind of character characterizes this film good Island, you know, please God and stuff, but yeah doesn't really have it narrowed down and it's just trying to be a good person, you know good Island.

What would you say to the people of Prairie Lakes? What would you say about? How to how to kind of interact with with guys like you what would you say to us? It's a treat them just like how you would want to be treated. You know, you John when you know, you walked up to me and we United started becoming better friends. You just treated me like a regular person, you know, you know, you feel free to have conversations with them about you know, what they like get to know them, you know and see if there's a place for them at Prairie Lakes if if that's a common thing conversation. They're open to okay. Yeah, so you you would just say be normal. Yeah. Just weirdo. Just if you want to be friends with them be friends with them and then take it from there. Yeah, if you know if you find out you don't want to be friends with them then distance yourself and don't maybe don't bring them into the fold. That's right. Well Phil I want to say thanks. Absolutely and you you I value our our friendship you the fact that we can do this, and I know that You did this because of our friendship. It's not your it wouldn't be your first choice to come and Beyond this. Yeah across Iowa 1000s of people across Iowa, but I want to say I'm you're welcome. And I'm glad you didn't preface with that the whole thousands of people across Iowa think because that would make me even more nervous and let me added around the United States and parts the world. Okay. Thanks buddy.

You bad John. All right.