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you are wait for Alex Church Pastor chip here. And today I am with one of our own PLC member and Cedar Falls campus connection DD nibbling DD. Most people here. Probably Church know me, but they don't know you so why don't you tell us a little bit about who you are family work all that good stuff.

Okay, my name is DeeDee neb blank, and I've lived in Cedar Falls for probably the past. Seven years. I am a resident aide at the Western home communities and my husband and I are landlords. I have 119 year old son. I have a 22 year old stepson and a 16 year old stepson. Wow. Hey, so this weekend's topic is this is following Jesus really freedom.

And here's what we know Didi we talked a little about this before but we have a lot of people to Iowa who maybe curious about Jesus maybe grow up in the church, but they're not following Jesus and for them a part of their hangup is if I follow Jesus I'm gonna have to change my life. I'm have to stop doing certain things because you know Christianity is about to do's and the don'ts and they they really feel like hey if I follow Jesus, I'm gonna have to give up X Y and Z which doesn't feel like Freedom, right? So for a lot of people they're like man is following Jesus really freedom. And so we're gonna speak to that today and I wanted to interview you today because of your story because I think your story beautifully answers.

The question is following Jesus, really really freedom and I got to meet you in 2016 back. Then you were DD Cleveland not 80 nib blink yet and I met you at what we used to call PLC connect. Now, we call it first step which is landing spot for our first time guess and I got to hear your story. Yeah, and I was just blown away. In fact, I can still remember the chair that I was sitting in and the Cedar Falls coffee. Yes. I can remember where you were city as you shared your story because it was that impactful for me. And so I would love to start like at the beginning. So tell us about you know, where you grew up family of origin that kind of stuff. Okay, so I'm an Iowa girl.

For the most part grew up in Waterloo. I was born in Cedar Rapids, but I grew up in Waterloo. My parents divorced when I was about two years old. So it was my brother and I he's 19 months younger than me and then kind of From that point on it was very fragmented my mother I was with another man that she had my sister with and then she was with another man that she had my little brother with so there was a lot of just unstability and and kind of fragmented relationships and it was kind of whichever way the wind blew. We really didn't have a North like, you know, a true north or a foundation or anything like that. So that that's kind of the way I was raised sure.

So not nuclear home very fragment. No, not a nuclear home just not being able to really, you know, put your feet down or identify with anything or it was just kind of a like us like a survival mode sure type of Upbringing yeah challenging. Yeah, I think that's the bet. Yeah, I think that's just wait for describe it and I've not I've that's never I've never said that or or describe my upbringing that way but it was very much a survival type. Yeah upbringing.

So in that environment describe to us, what was it like for you growing up was there church was their faith was their God talk? What was that? Like? No. No, not not. at all, so my growing up my encounters I guess you could say with with God or any kind of a realization that there there was someone out there that loved me. There was someone out there that created me came and kind of like bits and pieces from my environment and I knew from a young age just from those bits and pieces that that there was something out there and I just remember feeling that in my heart but not knowing what it was or how to articulate that or identify it.

I remember I used to take my little brother. This is probably when I was he was maybe six. I was seven. We lived on the east side of Waterloo and there used to be this big brown Baptist Church big I mean huge bus and it would drive around all the neighborhoods and it would pick up any kids that it could and take him to Sunday school and I knew that I knew that was somewhere where I should be and I knew that that was something that I needed and and you know being that young you can't really articulate or no, but I knew that you know, so I'd get my little brother and I drag him up there on that bus and and we would go and it was you know, it was kind of a wild situation because this late this lady would take us up and and to her apartment and it was on, you know, a bad part of Waterloo and and there was pigeons flying out in and out of one of the rooms in her house and but she but she sat there and and she she profess the gospel to these little kids and and it wasn't just the the Feel Good gospel. It was saying hey sin is a real thing and it's Um and it will consume you. Yeah, if you don't cry out to Jesus if you if you do not have Jesus in your life and this is what hell is so that was an introduction to the gospel to you guys. Okay? Okay, and so being at that age and hearing something like that is kind of like, whoa.

It sets you back and it almost kind of stirs up a little bit of fear. Sure in you. Yeah, um, but the best way I can describe that it's it was a healthy fear because I knew that that wasn't the end got you. It's kind of like it was like she told me that and profess that the gospel to me, but then it was like dot dot dot it's the best way I can describe it. Sure. So you had some as you were growing up fragmented home a little bit of a fragmented experience with Christianity where there wasn't really regular Church attendance. There were these bits and pieces of faith and you heard the gospel here and there's a longing in your heart knowing like I should be there I should be following there's like this. There is a God but like really didn't have a relationship with him.

For quite a while, right? Yeah. Yeah for a long time. So walk us through from from that point in childhood maybe from like high school onward before you made the step to follow Jesus. Well after high school, I mean it was a real struggle for me real struggle, and I I really got Just kind of consumed because when you don't have a true north or you don't have people around you insulating you and supporting you the world pulls and picks and ravages you and and that was kind of my existence from from high school on and even into you know, my high school years. It was just I really started getting pulled down and prayed upon and things like that.

so I I did a lot of I did I did a lot of things that Were very worldly based that. Hey, I'm apply this and you will find relief apply this and you will find your Leaf I found myself in a lot of situations where I knew that I would you shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be doing what you're doing. Sure.

And during I mean during that time as a young adult and even into my adult years, I struggled with substance abuse and that was a to heal emotional pain and to fill that God void, which led me to a dizzying Heights of despair.

Yeah, and I think what you're describing these very common for a lot of people that we encounter at church or in Ohio is where there's this gnawing need or desire for God. They wouldn't necessarily say that and they're searching all over the place to find what could fulfill them what could give them life what could give them freedom and they look in self-help and they look at substances and they search and look and they can't find and like you said earlier. There's this sense of of Despair. There's a longingness. Yeah, I feel and I think it's pretty typical sometimes too to go. Like well the answer is religion and it's gonna work just like self-help and like you said if I flip open to Bible passage, I'm a land here and all a sudden it's gonna give me the and then I'm gonna be like, yeah the block and yeah, I'm gonna be good. Yeah. We're a lot of times I think people look for Freedom apart from a relationship with God. Yeah. It's it's definitely it's definitely a journey.

Yeah with Jesus and he takes you and wants you once you surrender to what he's got to offer you. He just he takes you and you belong to him and you know it. Yeah, you bet. So take us back to that the moment. When was it that you cross the faith line. What was it that caused you to get there? And then like maybe what were the people are things around the circumstances it caused you to go Jesus is the answer. He's the one I need like what was that?

Okay, so it was it was during a pretty dark time in my life. God seen that I needed to be alone and by myself and and he did it in a pretty big way. He cleared out everything. I mean I lost my home. I lost my friend group my fragmented family that I had at the time and even my son everything everything and so he he left me completely alone and I won't forget. I was writing my bike because I couldn't even drive my car. I was scared to drive my car. It was you know, I didn't have a license and I was writing my bike across a dike and Waterloo and I remember I stopped right in the middle of that diet because I was just compelled to and I said God, I don't know what I'm doing.

Like I have no idea what I am doing, but I know that you do I know that you do. Yeah, and then I just kept riding my bike and I kept doing the same things I was doing I didn't like it wasn't some big, you know. Oh, I stopped what I was doing and then everything I just made that simple statement. I don't I do not know what I am doing. I know what I'm doing is wrong. I know that I shouldn't be doing it.

But I know that you do I know that you do and I did and once I made that simple perfect profession. I would have to say that that was the that was the defining moment. That was the start. That was faith. That was the start the start of the process. That was the start sure that the very start of the process and it like I say, it didn't change any Behavior overnight it didn't it was nothing miraculous. But what it did is it it he said, okay.

Heapers my heart was positioned so he could do good works to me. My heart was positioned so he could clean me out. Yes. There's a decision. There's a humility to say God. I need you. I can't do this on my own. I don't have it figured out and just that simple Act of Faith of crying out to God in that moment for you was what opened your heart to Faith and it opened the door to God coming in and saying, okay, I can work with this DD. Yeah at the bottom. Yeah, you've lost everything everything the way your ego you thinking you can do all of these things. That's what I needed you. Yeah clean from I don't need you to be clean from your behavior. I need you to be clean from your ego. Yes from the inside out. I need your heart from the inside. I need your heart. I don't need anything else. You can keep doing what you're doing cuz I'll work on that. Yeah, and what a powerful realization too to get to this spot where all these things that you thought were bringing your life Freedom. Yeah. We're actually creating bondage. We're getting you stuck. Correct and true Freedom really was saying I'm dependent. I'm helpless. I'm in need God would you come in and do your thing and that for Beginning of some pretty dramatic life-changing life transformation. Oh, yeah, not definitely obviously that definitely wasn't the end. No, no, so from that that moment where you're crying out to God on a bike.

what happened next walk us through some of the next steps some of the things in your journey that God did and Moved from that point just because of just because of this the condition of my mind and my physical state I you know. It's it's very peaced out from from that point on. I started to feel this this just peace. It was it was more of a piece is the best way I can describe it would probably was a little bit of resting and strange for you because you hadn't experienced that before right. So now you're experiencing this emotion that like this is good and comforting but also straight strange for me. Yeah, and it was good. It was good and comforting.

Yeah because it was strange because like I say my situation was the same like my situation was the same. I was still doing what I was doing and being around people I shouldn't be around. But then it gave me eyes.

and I'm looking around and I'm going okay. I've got myself in trouble here. I've got myself in big trouble here. And and so I guess it just gave me like it gave me realize it opened my eyes I gave he opened my eyes. He cleaned the mud out of my eyes and I was able to see clearly sure.

So yeah, so he helped you see he gave you Vision. He started giving you peace now tell me so between 2012 2013 that moment on the bridge on your bike crying out to Jesus and now you're with Bill blended family, you're together. You're starting to come to pray Lakes Church.

How is life for DD different than it was prior to that moment on the bridge. Think a lot of people start to dip their toe in the water and then kind of like, oh, I don't know. Yeah, that was right. And that was you and it took you a while. Yeah, but I think increasingly you begin to experience some things that kept drawing you back. So what were those things? What were you feeling?

Or experiencing. What was were you growing that it was like now Jesus is is the answer. This is the pathway like what was that for you? first of all, it was it was Community the community that I was offered the connection that I was offered because that's what every human being Longs for is the it is the connection and the community and that's how we grow and that's how we Thrive because I I knew because of the upbringing that I had I did not want to just survive. Yeah, I knew that it's painful. Like I didn't want to just survive. And so that's kind of what I wanted to thrive. I wanted to have a vibrant life. I wanted to have I wanted to you know walk by faith.

Like I wanted these things for myself. I wanted these things for my son. And so, you know, that's that's what kept pulling me back the first Bible study that I was in I didn't even know what I was doing. I just want to pray like's website and I think I ordered like three Bible study books for three different Bible study. Let's go. Yeah. Oh and I remember yeah, I came in and Karen Moreland was still doing that was still doing the Grove and I was like had my books and stuff and I like had my you know Bible, you know, and she and I come in I'm like, okay, which book are we doing? She looked at me like I was crazy. Yeah, you know, I mean, but I'm like I'm excited to jump in I'm gonna do whatever we're doing this study right now, and I'm like, okay.

It's great. Yeah, yeah and from jumping in like that, you know, I got with my first Bible study my first Core group of girls and CC green was leading it. Yeah, and she's just been a blessing to my life. She's like the big sister that I that I never had and kept pointing me to the truth that is in scripture and you know correcting a lot of Things that I formally thought were correct and she did it in love Yeah and and impatience and in kindness. Yes, but letting me know that it was wrong. Yeah. Yes Andrew. Yeah.

It really does sound like God's people or instrumental. Yeah and keeping on the path and drawing you to Jesus and helping you grow and take next steps. Yeah, it sounds like in one of Paul's letters. He talks about the fruit of the spirit love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and gentleness faithfulness self control, right? Like you're experiencing those things. Yeah and increasing measure that the Holy Spirit was doing inside of you and I think all the questions I have for you is freedom from addiction right coming from an addicted lifestyle where you feel trapped and bound. Yeah to freedom and Christ because a lot of people struggle with addiction various forms. Oh, yeah.

When would you say like, hey Jesus redeem me and I was I was free, like what point did that did that happen in your journey? It still happening. Yes. I don't know when it's you know, because now I'm working on you know an addiction to food. Yeah, I mean it he keeps clearing me out. He keeps doing it. When did it start. Gosh, I could say it started with unhealthy relationships. I could say it started with substances.

I could say it started with unhealthy thoughts or desires. Um, when did it start? Chipot, I think that it started all the way at the beginning of my life. Sure like cuz he knew my story. Yeah, so when did it start?

Way back and so it's something that's don't have an answer been a part of your life. I would even say I don't put words in Gmail, but I wouldn't say at some point. It kind of controlled. You only have two large degree. Yes. No, it's not but now through the power of the spirit you as a father of Jesus or aware of Temptations Dynamics design. Yes, and you have a power to say no yes before when you're in the middle of addiction and it's got you bound up and you're not free. Yeah, you're caught. Yeah, but now in Christ you've got this ability to be aware and to say no that you didn't have before. That's the Yes, that is the key right there chip is is the awareness is to say oh and and I think I can just go back to the you know, when I was on the dike and I surrendered, you know it for months and months leading up to that. I was just This isn't good. This isn't right. This isn't good. This isn't right. This isn't good. This isn't right. Like you you can't even control yourself anymore. Like you can't you you think that you have this control of yourself? And you think that you have everything figured out and if you just do this and you hide that and you turn away and you do this and you do that, yeah and all the while all the walls are closing in on you. Yeah, and and you don't even know it. Um, so I think that the that's the freedom that that Jesus provides you that is that is the freedom is because he pulls you up.

Yeah so you can look down and you can say oh Oh, okay. And and I and I think that that's the that is the freedom that he gives you. as the awareness to be able to say hey.

You know. I lived a perfect life you didn't yes. I did this for you. You can't God sent me. He made you yes, you know, I think a lot of people feel like freedom is an absence of restrictions, right? Yeah, but what we know is real freedom is finding the the right restrictions like I love this quote from Tim Keller. He says this he says in many areas of life. This is in his book reason for God. He says in many areas of life freedom is not so much the absence of restrictions as finding the right ones. He calls them liberating restrictions. Yes. He says those that fit the reality of our nature and the world produce greater power and the scope of our abilities and a deeper joy and fulfillment.

He says you got to find the liberating restrictions the things in your life that limit but actually bring freedom and obviously I would say faith in Jesus is the primary one in our lives, but the true Freedom really isn't just I get to do what I want whatever I want to because that leads to bondage eventually but real freedom is I'm gonna pick the right limitations in my life and set the right boundaries in my life so that I can live free. Yes, and it sounds like that is a big part of what you experience with Jesus. Yes coming to faith in him experiencing him being a part of Community Christian Community and faith and then October 14th, yeah, 2017. Yeah, I got to fish at your wedding. You did. Yeah, and we're gonna do the outside because you got a beautiful backyard. Yeah, and it was pouring down rain. So I officiate your wedding in your living in my living room surrounded by loved ones and it was just a beautiful moment. Yeah, and I was so proud of you guys for taking that step of obedience. Yeah, because you guys were living together prior to that. We were living together. We were living together and it's funny because when we got together, I mean because of the way I'd grown up I'm like, okay, this is what we do that that's what you did. That's what God do just what couples do that. That's just what you do and and From living that way and then getting involved with Prairie Lakes and then go you know and getting into the disciplines. I had you know some really good Sisters in Christ go.

so hey, what are we doing? Here's over here. You married. Yeah, what's going on? And and and and I remember getting that told to me and I just thought oh, yeah why you know and so it started you know, and that's why communities so good. It's it's important to stay in community because they you know that Grace and Truth and I got to thinking about it and then I talked to Bill and I said, you know what, um while we cannot change our living situation because of the kids and things like that we There is something that we can do and we're gonna go ahead and abstain. Yeah before we're you know, and we're going to get married and we're going to ask God to bless our marriage. And so that was in that was another step of obedience and And I'm so and I'm so thankful for it. And and my husband was my you know, then fiance felt blessed. I know he I know he felt blessed by you know me kind of saying hey, we're gonna yep, which is another example of well, there's restrictions. Yeah, there's a don't yeah and it seems like that's restrictive and that's not freedom. But I think what you guys experienced even as an Engaged couple together is like, oh no this gives us freedom and being obedient to enjoy one another in a way that God intends until we're married. Yeah. She's very good thing which then gives us the freedom in marriage to enjoy that and also gave you the freedom to demonstrate to the kids. Yeah. Hey, here's what we're doing. Here's why we're doing it which is such a powerful example to them of obedience what it means to follow Jesus. Yeah. So I just so proud of you guys. I was so excited to be part of that journey and that season of life with you guys, which is really really cool and really really fun. One of the other things. I admire the most about you is, you know, one of our next steps is boldly Invitational to be boldly Invitational and man you are boldly Invitational.

Yeah, because I think in large part, you know what it's like to be on the other side of the faith line. You know what it's like to be lost to be addicted to be stuck to be bound up. And so just kind of tell me about like how you invite people who you invite any steps. They're taking just that kind of stuff right now. Like it's just it's pretty cool. Well, I really like to invite like Teenagers that's kind of my that's kind of my thing that you know, I like to do. I mean, yeah, like adults and stuff like that but I it seems like because man if I would have had somebody yeah if I would have had somebody when I was a young teenager just reach into the mock and say hey can't come over here, you know like do this and so I really have a heart for you know, young like young adults teenagers and stuff. And so um, My goddaughter Rhiannon. I got to baptize her recently. Yeah, and you know, I met her four years ago and she's just been a huge blessing in my life and seeing her take that step of obedience as a baby Christian and it's Oh, it's there's nothing better. Yeah, there's nothing better to see someone give that give themselves over to Christ and we just got to baptizer we did which is so amazing. Yeah, it was it was yeah. It was so great.

And you know, there's there's some other you know, young adults that. He kind of leads me. He gives me the courage to do it. I suppose he get he gives he gives me the courage to do it and and I know and you know, because sometimes it can come off as you know, kind of like weird. Yeah, you don't be the cream Christian, right? Yeah person. I always will invite offering them Village in afterwards here.

You go that way. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Church that that works really good and and to know that it's not me doing it. Yeah, and to know that you know that they'll come once and they might just come once it's all right. Yep. Sorry. Yep, you know no shame.

Yeah come because I you know, because I don't have to like I don't have to you know, because it's not me. Yeah, you know, yeah God will work. Yeah, your job is to be obedient and trust God with the results. Yeah, exactly. So, you know and I've had I've had a lot of people that I you know that I've brought. Yeah, that's fine. That's okay if I can get them to sit through one hour of the Gospel. Yeah.

Well, we're good. Absolutely. Yes good. Yeah. Hey one of the things I think people that haven't made the decision to follow Jesus yet their spiritually curious and like again, maybe they grew up in church. Maybe they're interested in the gospel, but they're not following Jesus. One of the things I think they get hung up on is hey, I know Christians and they're following Jesus and their life isn't perfect. Mmm. They're walking through stuff and God still allows them to go through difficult seasons and difficult spots and so like they're trying to make sense of like How does that fit with following Jesus and yet there's these difficulties over here or they look hypocritical over here because they're not perfect yet and they expect Christians to be somehow. Yeah, I know for you personally in this season.

Well, the lessons got his teaching you is obedience. Yeah, so if you wouldn't mind just sharing a little bit about what God's doing in your heart in your life right now and what you're learning and how you're what obedience looks like for for DeeDee. Okay? No, yes, so recently I was given a diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. And so um I feel as though he's giving me another opportunity to be obedient to him to be faithful to him and to give him the power and the glory.

because you know who who wants that? Yeah, who would ask for that? Like nobody like us with it like who who wants that but crazy and I is crazy as it sounds it's just an opportunity for it's just an opportunity to show Grace to people it's an opportunity to show.

His faithfulness in my life because he's been faithful to me. All my life. Yeah, and it's in it's not gonna stop now. It's not gonna stop now just because my physical You know because I'm not this isn't I'm skin and bone but I'm I belong to him and my spirit belongs to him. And so um, I look for okay. Well who are the people that I'm gonna be able to meet along the way on this health Journey? Yeah. Now I've got something that that I'm up against because when I was going through the hard times in my life, who can I who can I be a blessing to? Yes, who can I be a blessing to and so that's currently what that's that's currently what's going on. Yeah, and so he's he's clearing me out once again in sometimes I found that God likes to Spur you along. Yeah, he'll encouraging different ways. Oh and he's encouraged me with rheumatoid arthritis and such a painful disease painful illness to have yeah uncertain future. Oh, yeah North the next six 12 months, you know looks like yeah, but you're the beauty of your perspective is like hey God's Got Me Not only that.

only just got got me and I'm in his hands but the perspective of like God's Gonna use this yes in ways that I don't expect there can't even predict for his glory and for my good in ways that don't make logical they will not make sense. Yeah, but yet we've experienced that already in your life. Yeah, so you have the freedom again to like trust and say I'm gonna put this in God's hands. Yeah, right and it's and it's such a beautiful beautiful thing.

Yeah, I know that I'm loved. Yeah, and I know that I'm held and So now I just get to kind of what are you gonna do now? Yeah, what what are you gonna do now? And thank you. You know, I'm very great. I'm eternally grateful for everything. That's such a gift.

So Didi, if you could go back to your 2012 self. Yeah, knowing what you know now having experienced a decade of transformation through guts Holy Spirit the freedom that God gives on this side of the faith line. If you could go back to that 2012 you what would you say your loved you are loved and you always have been yeah.

yeah, which you would say, that's the message that you would have for people who are On the on the fence of the faith land, maybe they're right on the precipice of like I want to take this step, but I'm not quite sure. Why should I take this step if you did your ask that question by somebody if they're asking this question right now, what would your answer be to those people that are like should I shouldn't I it's a bold step. I've been thinking about it. But like why should I take this step and Trust Jesus with my life?

Well because he's the one that's supposed to carry that baggage. Like he's the one that's supposed to it's for him and it's for his father's glory and we want that goodness and we want that peace and joy to extend not only in our own Hearts but to go out into the world.

And there's nothing more liberating or free. Yeah and You're just not meant to carry all that stuff. That's good. Yeah, it's a very good. As you think about Christians people over the faith line trusted in Jesus, they're listening to us talk and maybe they remember a time years ago where they're in that spot of hopelessness and despair and bondage and now they're experiencing freedom in Christ. They've done that for years. What would your advice be to to those of us who are in that spot to reach back in a little while I was to people who are not there yet on the discipleship pathway or maybe learning about God curious about God or just disinterested. How would you encourage us to to live and love around those people and and impact them?

just be patient just be just be patient because I think that like having having and staying in relationship is the biggest is the biggest encourager that there is yeah sharing your life not you know, and it you don't have to be talking about Jesus, you know have to be talking about God because your life is a testimony to the goodness of who he is. And again the holy spirit will work on that person's heart because it's not your job and that's something that I struggle with and well something that I have and it's still a little bit that I've struggled with, but once once God kind of gave me that Again, I let that go. It's not about you DeeDee and it never will be it's always about my son.

It's always going to be about him and so once I kind of let that down, okay, that's that's a big responsibility. Yeah, that's a big that's a big responsibility. So I just think staying to you know, encourage a person that's in that spot is Just keep living living in obedient life. Yes and walk with that person because that's what Jesus did. Yeah, that's so good. The patience longevity of building relationships with people aren't projects. Yeah, they're people. Yeah, and our job is to love them and demonstrate Jesus to them. Like you just said that's what impacts people.

Yeah, that's what shows people that there's freedom in Christ when they see that alive in you. Yeah. It's like, oh there's something there that I don't have there's a great quote. I can't remember who this is. It's an author and I think it's a she and I think she said people might remember what you say, but they will remember how you feel. Yeah, they might yeah that they may or what you say. They probably remember some things that you did but they'll always remember the way that you made them feel. Yeah, and I think as follows of Jesus, there's great wisdom in that saying of like, how how do we as Christians make people around this field little eye would do they feel love? Yeah, they feel cared for yeah, right do they feel respected and value like that is such a huge question when it comes to demonstrating who Jesus is to people that need to see you. Yeah, because I never remember Words, well Didi, thank you. You're welcome. You are a gift to prelix church and you've been a blessing to all of us today. So grateful for you. Thank you very much. I'm grateful for PLC and everybody all the staff and everybody that I encounter.

Feels good to be a blessing. Yep. Thank you. You're welcome.