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Hey, welcome to Prairie Legs. Um, we're so glad that, uh, you've made this big decision this weekend, uh, to, to jump in and to join and to say, Hey, God, here I am, and don't ever forget this, okay? We're a no matter church.

And what that means is no matter who you are, where you've been or what you've done, or even what's been done to you, God loves you. And, uh, you can always look for God here. So, so I know right now some would be feeling like, ah, I've done so many.

Yep, we've all done bad. We're all sinners. But man, you can, you can go on the journey with us. You can go on the journey to find God and grow with God and grow in God. So we're really glad that, that you're here. Hey, before we get going, one just real quick plug I want to give across campuses, um, is this, this Wednesday will be the first Wednesday of the month, and we've started this practice of worship and prayer at your campus.

You can also join online, but first Wednesday of the month, we gather together very low key, very organic, and we just pray and we worship and, and, and listen. The, the one way that God responds is he responds to the prayers of his people.

And we're praying across Iowa, we're praying that he'll move in our campus. He'll move in our cities, and he'll move in the hearts and minds of Iowa. So join us Wednesday, uh, for the first Wednesday of prayer. Alright, so here's where we're at.

We're week three of a marriage series that we've been pounded, okay? And the series is called Be Reconciled. And, uh, two weeks ago I was in Decora and, uh, pastor Jesse let it off. And I'm, I'm sitting up front and I'm like, taking notes and I'm going, wow, this is actually pretty good.

I mean, he's always good, right? But pretty good. It was fantastic, right? So from week one, here's kind of the big takeaway from week one. Jesse just kind of set it up and he said, why God create marriage?

And, and he laid these out and we walked through these and it was, it was really great, a great start to this series on marriage called Be Reconciled. Now, last week, pastor Chip, he, he hid it. And, and the, the main takeaway last week was just truths about marriage was this, that marriage is difficult.

We, we, we all know, right? Everybody knows that. And then he talked about body language of your marriage. And, um, and it tells a lot about the condition of your marriage. So, very good. If you haven't seen those, here's what I encourage you to do.

I encourage you to go online and to watch those for the first time, or watch 'em again and, and, and take good steps, uh, in your marriage. Alright? So, so for three weeks we're doing this. Why? Because it's huge. Because when marriages break, it hurts everybody.

When marriages don't work the way they should work, when not operating on all cylinders, it it, there's a trickle down effect. And it's not just this generation, but it's generations to come. It, it, it, it is.

So here's what I want you to hear from me. At the end of the day, here's what we're gonna do for the last part of this series, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna give you a tool, um, to use, to evaluate, to assess, to help you take real steps, uh, in your marriage.

That's gonna come at, at the end. So here's what we're gonna do before we get there. Um, whether you are, are, um, uh, uh, someday marriage, right? Uh, or, or whether you're like in line you like you're ready to roll, or whether you are married, uh, short time or a medium amount of time or a long time, or maybe you're, you're on the other side of this, this marriage thing.

Here's, here's what, what, what we know, what we know is there are some, since we live in Iowa, we're not gonna call 'em landmines. We're gonna call 'em potholes, okay? There are some potholes out in front of you that are, that if, if you hit 'em and, and you don't, you don't deal with them, it, it can, can wreck your, your marriage.

They can cause damage in all kinds of, of different ways. Now, now, here's what I wanna do. There are, there are dozens of like big marriage potholes that, that are literally, it could, could, could wreck your marriage. I, I've picked three and the three that I've picked are ones that, that are, are near and dear to me, okay?

As a guy that's been married for 30, uh, six, I think six now, oh, remember our Prairie Lakes rule, guys, remember, if you, if you, how long have you been married? If you're not sure, your one answer is this not long enough, it wins every single time. So I, I picked these three, okay?

Um, based on, um, kind of some of my own stuff. And also just as I've been, been walking through life, these are the three, especially lately that I see just really rising up and really causing, um, some pretty serious damage. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna address three.

So here's the first one that I want us just to kind of sit in. We're gonna dig in the Bible and, and we're gonna, we're gonna address it together. Okay? So this is the first big marriage pothole. And here's what it's, if you don't address this idea of family, of origin, um, you are, you are, you are setting yourself up for, for all kinds of, of failures.

You and me, we have inherited lots of good and bad from the generations that have, have gone before us, right? Not just our parents, but our grandparents and our great grandparents, right? Lots of it. Some of it is, is literally biological.

There are, there are our, our study, there's a study done with over a million participants where scientists have found that actually in the genome there's actually predispositions, right? To things like alcohol or, or even suicide. And, and, and so, so this family of origin, right?

Whether we like it or not, we are the product of what's really come before us, of, of where we came from. Uh, some of it is, is, like I said, some of it is, there's some genetic stuff, right? Some of it is, is generational sin that just is, is kind of passed down and this habit and that behavior gets passed down.

Um, some of it is, is are traits and some of it are views. And like it or not, here's the deal. When it comes to marriage, your views have been sharply shaped by the family that you grew up in or the families that were were around you. Your view of marriage and marriage, health and expectations and roles, right?

All of it we've been shaped by. And if you don't understand kind of the family of origin stuff and how it impacts you, how it determines how you act at times, why do I respond this way? If you're not asking the questions of yourself, why do I do what I do?

Um, this family of origin, you have to dig into it. Or it is a pothole that will literally wreck, uh, your, your marriage. I wanna, I wanna show you biblically how, how, how this kind of happens. Okay? Then we'll talk personally, all right?

So let's all get our bibles out. Let's all turn to the book of Genesis. Tough one to find the very first book of the Bible, Genesis, Exodus, Ticus, numbers, Deuteronomy. So let's all get to Genesis, and I want you to turn to Genesis 27, okay?

Genesis 27. Now, Genesis is story of, of, of creation. That's a story of the creation of, of the beginnings of God's nation, Israel. And and if you'll remember, you kind of go back and you start thinking about Genesis a little bit. We have Abraham, who's the pillar of our faith, right?

And Abraham had a son, Abraham and Sarah had a son named Isaac, and Isaac, uh, married Rebecca, okay? So Isaac and Rebecca had two sons, Jacob and Esau. And I want you to see, we, we have a, we can trace it through scripture, we can chase this, this family of origin, whether it's a, it's a sin or a generational sin, something that wasn't arrested or taken care of, that just passed on and caused pain and passed on and caused pain and passed on and caused pain.

And some of you right now in your marriage, it is very painful because you're just passing on and passing on and passing on literally what you've inherited. So here's the story of, of of, of Isaac and Rebecca's son, Jacob and Esau.

So if you would go to Genesis 27 and, and just go back and read this, this week, this would be a great thing for you to kind of sit in and there's a lot of stuff in here. You're like, what, what is happening? Just let's, let's just, let's just walk a little bit together, okay?

So, so go to 27, and the first few verses kind of set it up. They say, when Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau, his older son, and said to him, my son, here I am, Esau answered. And Isaac said, I am now an old man and don't know the day of my death.

Now, then get your weapons, your quiver, and your bow. Go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me, prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat so that I can give you my blessing before I die, right? So he is gonna pass on his blessing to the oldest son, which was custom and tradition.

And you read the story. And what we find out is, is, is this, is that Rebecca and Isaac plot together for Isaac to refu him and say he's Esau. So he can kind of steal the blessing or so he can kinda steal the blessing from him.

So Ja or Jacob does, and, and it's this crazy moment, right? But you read through the story and there are multiple times worse, just there's a flat out spirit of deception. Spirit of deception. And, and, and here's, here's, here's where he goes.

He says, so Jacob does his thing, right? So Jacob, Jacob goes, and he puts fur on his hands because Esau was, was hairy and a big hunting kind of guy, right? And he, and he brings the game, and Jacob said to his father, I am Esau, your first board.

Remember, his eyes were bad, right? Remember, Isaac's eyes were bad. I have done, as you told me, please sit up and eat some of my game so that you may give me your blessing. And then just a little bit later, right?

Just to illustrate right, this, this idea of deception, right? He's asking, right, Isaac, he's asking, are you really my son, Esau? He asked, I am, he replied, okay. So, so the story goes right, there's the start of it.

And, and, and so as you can imagine, the, the Esau finds out what happens. And, and duh, surprise, surprise, look what happens next. Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, the days of mourning for my father, our near, then I will kill my brother Jacob, right?

Just one big happy family we have going. But I want you to see this, that when you allow a generational sin or a kind of a family of origin issue to perpetuate, it'll spread, it'll grow like cancer, and it'll infect generations and generations and generations.

So, so, so catch this, it'll come to bite you, right? So, so Esau or or Jacob, he flees Esau, right? So he flees and Rebecca says, go to my brother, Laben, go, go to him. So he goes to his uncle's place and he gets to his uncle's village and he stays there, and he is there for a little bit, and it's not long.

And he sees that Laban's got two really beautiful, or two, two daughters, okay? Now I know his uncle and daughters, listen, it's, it's a Nebraska thing. We're not gonna really get into that right now, okay? But, but, but he, he gets there and, and he sees this beautiful girl, right?

And, and he, and he wants to, to, to, to marry her. And, and, and so Labban says to him, Labban, his uncle says, all right, buddy. Um, just because we're family doesn't mean you get her for free. So you can have my youngest daughter, Rachel, but you gotta work for me for seven years.

So it works for seven years. And, and he gets to his wedding night. And, uh, and, uh, here's the taxes. This is crazy stuff, man. So he marries Steve. What he thought was Rachel, they had a big party, right? And I don't know, I don't know Iowa Bush, I don't know, right?

So when morning came, there was Leah. So Jacob said to Labon, what has this she done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn't I? Why have you deceived me? No. So wait a minute, A father getting deceived, a man deceiving another man.

I wonder where that came from. I, I wonder where, where that started. Okay? So, so the story goes on a little farther, and and Laben says this. He replies, it's, it's not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one, finish this daughter's bridal week.

Then we will give you the younger one also in return for another seven years of work, right? So it's crazy. And, and God uses 'em, right? And all that. But man, it just, right, this, this spirit of reception, it, it, it's allowed to go and then it goes farther, and then it starts to infect others, and then it, and then it plays its way out and in the lives of people.

Now it, it goes farther than this, right? So after all this happens, right? After all this happens, so years go by and Jacob's an old man now, and he's got 12 sons who become the 12 tribes of Israel. And Jacob changes name to Israel, and it's in Genesis 37.

So everybody just turned there with me. So you're in 27 now, just flip a few pages back to Genesis 37. And this is where this, where this story starts, right? So, so Joseph is the youngest son, Joseph is the son of, of, of Jacob.

And, and, and, and he has this dream that he's gonna rule over his brother. So he tells his brothers, his brothers are all mad at him, but Joseph was already his brother, his dad's favorite, and gave his dad, gave him the special, you know, Joseph, the technical dream coat, right?

So there's, there's this whole story going on and the brothers are really mad at him. So they're out doing their, doing the tending their sheep, and, and, and they take, they take Joseph and they want to kill him, but they say, let's not kill him. Let's just, let's just throw him into a, a well and, and be done with him and we'll just, we'll just be done.

He'll die in there, we'll be done. So they throw him in a, well, then they hatch a plan, right? A deceptive plan. Jacob's sons hatch a deceptive plan. Imagine that, right? So they, so they, they have to hatch this plan where they, they get an animal and they kill it, and they, they spread blood on it like it's blood, like, it's like it's blood, like it's Joseph's blood.

And they go back to their father and they present this animal's fur to him. And they say, yeah, this wild beast killed your son. So here he recognized it and he said, it is my son's robe. Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces.

Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourn for his son. Many days. Now, friends, I just just want you to hear this, right? God, listen, God still works. God still used him. God's grace and love was still evident and Jacob's life, God still carried on his plan through imperfect people.

But hear this, your marriage will suffer if you refuse to recognize that you are in part the product of the generations that came before you. How you were raised, what you saw, how you were treated genetically, familially, all the, all the issues, generational, generational sin, all of it has the potential to cause you to, to behave and do things that you just didn't think.

And you, you ask yourself, why am I acting the way that I'm acting? Why do I get angry at that? You've gotta recognize this, that you are the product of, of generations before your family of origin has laid an imprint on you.

I, I, I've got 'em, I've got my family curses. I've been discovering them. Listen, all my life I've known, I, I have this thing and here's my, here's this thing that I have. I, I, I just wanna move on to what's next. I don't wanna really deal with hard stuff.

I wanna just go, okay, let's go, let's move on, right? And, and I began to discover that ministry reveal that in you. Okay? So we start, we start learning stuff about our family of origin. And my mom, when she was just outta high school, um, she went to Sheridan Junior College.

She got engaged to this guy who my grandparents didn't know. She hardly knew the guy. He was a ranch hand at a ranch in Wyoming. My mom comes home from college at Sheridan, right in town there and says to her parents, Hey, I'm engaged.

I'm gonna get married. My grandparents, you know what they did? My grandparents, a ranch hand was not worthy of the Carroll family legacy. My grandparents the next morning had a suitcase out for my mom, put her on a Greyhound bus, sent her to Hastings, Nebraska to Hastings College, okay?

They didn't talk about it ever again. And my aunt, three or four years ago when my mom was dying, my aunt sat and told Kay and I, this whole story never discussed something hard happens. Something that's, that's difficult.

Let's just, let's just, let's go here and let's move on. Let's move on. My dad's dad died when he was 18 years old. I I, I remember trying to ask my dad about it. He would never talk about it. He, they never, they never talked about it. They didn't, they didn't have permission to mourn or grieve.

His dad just died when he was 18. He was a senior in high school and they just moved on. My grandma died when I was a sophomore in high school. We never talked about it. In fact, my dad was mad at me 'cause I was late getting home to get dressed from school. 'cause I couldn't take the whole day off. I go and take a half a day off for the funeral.

My best friend was killed when we were juniors in high school. And my dad says to me, don't be crying and pouting and trying to draw attention to yourself. So no wonder when hard things happen, my response is, let's just get past it.

Let's not, let's not dig into it. I just wanna move on, right? I'm the product, right, my friends, we all are okay. We all are. You can stop the generational stuff. You can. I've met with, with, with three different younger men who've all stepped over the faith line in the last two months at Prairie Lakes Church.

And all three of 'em at a very similar story. They have messy families. They got messy stuff in their past. They've got hard things that have happened to them. They've got broken families all over the place. And these three guys have all said, it's gonna stop with me.

It's gonna stop with me. I'm not just gonna do, because it got passed on to me. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that to my kids. My kids are gonna get better from me. You can stop the generational junk. Someone along the line has to say, no more.

I'm not passing this one down. I will break the chain. Somebody has to. So when it comes to this pothole of just family of origin stuff that you gotta understand. Here's, here's, here's the steps. Okay, here's the steps. You ready? You gotta recognize that you can't just ignore it anymore.

Why am I acting the way am I acting? You've gotta address it. You've gotta, you've gotta say it out loud. You've gotta say, this is affecting me. You've gotta, why am I doing it this way? And when I do this, when I ignore pain and when I don't allow people to work through something or grieve something, then, then I short circuit that in them.

They're gonna carry it on to the next, right? I gotta address it. And most importantly, right? We gotta start here. We gotta start here. Then we've gotta say, okay, God, okay, God, I can't, obviously, but you can, and you want to, God, I give this one to you.

I give it to you through prayer and through fasting and through through Word, right? And then you create a plan, okay, what am I gonna do? I gotta talk with somebody. I gotta sit with a counselor. I gotta talk to my pastor. I gotta sit with a friend. I've gotta, I've gotta dig in. I gotta journal this one.

I gotta do this. Well, I gotta create a plan, right? My friends, this is, this isn't the end, but this is how you start it. This is how you can be the one in your family who finally says, enough is enough. My marriage is gonna be different.

My children's marriages are gonna be different, and my children's, children's marriages are gonna be different. They're not gonna be broken. Like, everything that's come down the pipe from me, they're gonna be better and I'm gonna be the one.

Okay? So pothole, big one that can wreck marriage. It it's this family of origin. There's two more that that are, I, I'm, listen, there's, there's, there's a dozen of 'em, right? But there's two more. They don't seem as big as this one, but I've seen the damage.

I've seen not just flat tires, but broken chassis of marriages on this one. Okay? Here it is. Finances, we all kind of go, yeah, duh. Yeah, yeah, we know. But, but just, just hear me out. Just hear me out in this one. When it comes to divorce, statistics, finances is listed as usually depends on what survey you look at.

Usually one of the top reasons, um, for divorce. Now we know there's lots leading up to it, but that's, that's the one, that's the one that's the source sum. That's kind of, that's kind of sticking out. We have, we have families that don't come to agreement on it.

We have families that, that, that husbands and wives that don't, that don't know how to handle it, that never have that, that misuse it, right? There's all kinds of stuff that comes with us. Here's what everybody to do, right? Everybody right now, whatever campus you, everybody right now, pull out your wallet right now.

If you have your wallet, pull it out. Most of us don't have cash. If you have cash, hold the dollar bill in your hand. Hold your wallet in your hand. If you're kind of, you're a, a Google, uh, uh, uh, pay or an Apple wallet guy, hold your phone in your hand.

Don't look at your phone, okay? Just hold it, okay? But hold it in your hand. And I want you just to recognize a couple things that money can do. Okay? Here's what it can do. Money can ruin your marriage and has ruined thousands and thousands of lives.

The pursuit of it, too much of it, too little of it. That's not the issue. It's what it has kinda hold. It has on you and what you've inherited, what's come down to your pipe, how you view it. And if there's a husband and there's a wife, if there's a wife and there's a husband, and they're not in agreement on this one, and they're not together on this one, they don't fight for it together, they're gonna fight with each other about it.

Um, it, it's gonna cause all kinds of struggles and troubles. Bible's very, very clear on this. Just, just real quick, look at this one. So Matthew six, everybody go to Matthew six. And, and, and in Matthew six, there's this, it's Jesus on the sermon on the Mount, right?

And, and this is like the beginning, okay? This is him saying, alright, I am here and here's how this new world is gonna work. Here's how my kingdom is gonna operate. So in Matthew five, he gives the sermon on the mount, then he get to six and seven and eight.

And Matthew five, he gives the attitudes. 6, 7, 8. He, he gives the sermon on the mount and he just starts saying, Hey, this is what you've been taught this, but it, it's deeper than that. Hey, this is what you've said, but it's deeper than that. And so you get in Matthew six and you get this spot, and he, and he talks about, about money.

And he says this thing, right? This, this thing, this one little thing across centuries from, from the time of Jesus before the time of Jesus, when there was this thing called money or currency or value attached, it does crazy things to people.

It does. And so Jesus says this in Matthew six 19. He says, don't store up for yourself treasures on earth where MAs and vermin destroy, where thieves break in, into steal, but store up for yourself treasures in heaven or MAs of ver did not destroy where thieves do not break in and steal.

And then he says this right? And this is the kicker for where your treasure is there, your heart will be also. And if this is your security and this is your treasure, and this is the key to happiness or unhappiness, that's where your heart is. And that's a bad spot for your heart to be.

He, he, he goes on and just a little bit later, he, he even clearer, I think He says, no one can serve two masters. Either you'll hate the one and love the other. Oh, you'd be devoted to one and despise the other. I dunno if you understand this or not.

You cannot serve both God and money. And there's Jesus who says, if there's one thing that has the potential to replace, right? If there's the one thing that has the potential to replace God and the throne of your heart, it's this. And if you're getting married or you're newly married, or you're whole long time married, If you don't, If you don't deal with this pothole, it'll cause at the least just unhappiness and distressed at the most.

This thing has the ability to, to literally wreck your marriage. It does. In fact, Paul later, he wrote the first, he wrote the Timothy and first Timothy, and, and he said this, those, those who want to get rich, right? So like, it's, it's what I want.

It's what I'm going after, right? This is most important to me. Fall into a temptation and a trap. And then the many foolish and harmfulness to that foolish and harmful desires. And I love this phrase that plunge people into ruin the destruction for the love, right?

Again, it's not, it's not money, it's the love of money. It's what place it has in your heart. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. Some people eager for money and listen to this, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Not only does this, has the ability to just kind of screw things up on this earth and wreck marriage, if you don't get this one right, if you don't deal with this one, it has eternal consequences.

Eternal stuff, right? So what do we do? This? How about we do this again, right? What about this? How about you recognize it? And finally go, okay, yes, this is an issue. How about you address it? Say it out loud, swallow your pride.

Swallow your pride And say, I need help. Okay? Swallow your pride. Admit that you don't have it figured. Admit that it's holding you and you're not holding it. Submit it to God. Finally say, here it is. God, here it is. Right here it is. And, and that what that does eventually is, is it eventually leads this very beautiful principle of tithing.

Because what tithing does is it keeps reminding you that what you have isn't yours. It's really his. And he's first, and you're not first. And, and so you submit it to God and you create a plan and listen, just get with somebody. Get a budget, Figure it out. Get your debt paid off.

Start now. 'cause if you don't, you are gonna bottom out. And it won't probably just be a flat tire. It could, it could be a, it could be a a, a chassis breaker. It, it really could. Okay, one more quick one. Okay, one more quick. And this one is not as intuitive, but, uh, I'm just seeing it and I'm seeing how crucial this is.

This one's just, it's, it's friends. We have just a couple minutes to just address this one. I'm gonna do it very quickly, okay? One of the fastest ways to have a marriage relationship breakdown is to hang around with people who aren't aiming the same way that you are.

Okay? So hear me out. Just don't, don't, don't, don't, don't go too far yet. If you're both spinning your wheels and your friends are all spinning their wheels, just gonna dig a big hole for yourselves. It, it, it, it's just how it works.

You need to develop couple friends who help you navigate life, provide a filter and be guard rails. You, we need that. We need people who, who are pointing the same way that we will, people who will, who will put, who will, who will point us to Christ when we need to get our eyes off the problem and onto him.

Again. We need people in our life who won't let you, let you go down a trail that you just know you shouldn't go down. That we, you need people in your life who won't agree with you. When you say, my wife's a and my husband's a and they won't, they won't just jump on the bandwagon and bury him with you.

We need people that do that who you hang around with matters. Friendships in marriage are crucial to the health and development of your marriage and what you're passing on to your kids. It, it, it's, it's the biblical principle, right?

Who hang around affects us? Okay? Here, here's the proverb, right? Wisdom of the proverbs over walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Okay? One, one more quick.

One Corinthians, he just says, Paul says this, at the end of the Corinthians says, don't be deceived. Bad company ruins good morals. And I, I've seen it a thousand times. I will, I will. I, a guy will think I'm gonna, I'm gonna bring, bring her up, I'm gonna save her.

And almost always he gets drugged. A girl will say, yeah, he is not there yet, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna get him. And almost always, she gets drugged down with him. Listen, listen. Now, just don't, don't go too far on this one.

We're no matter church, and we see you gotta have little Iowa, you gotta have people in your life that aren't there yet. You've gotta have people you're working on. You gotta have people that don't know Jesus. And you better if you can't name them.

I'm, I'm mad at you, right? This is different than that. These are those closest compadres with you, these closest companions, the small group that you're in, that you say, let's, let's be honest with each other. Let's be accountable to one another. Let's, and just think if you had some people that would, you could be real with, and, and, and they could be real with you, and you could be vulnerable and they could be vulnerable, you could be authentic and they could be authentic, and you can dive in and dig for Christ together.

And when your marriage starts to, starts to get sideways, and you're starting to do this to each other, you have a bunch of people who, who are a few people around you that can see it, and they can kind of go, Hey, let's, let's pray about this. Hey, let's, let's, let's take some steps.

Hey, you probably should go talk to, right? We need those people in our life. We, we do. We really do. So two very quick principles, okay? Your primary friendship should be couple friendships, not my old college roommates. Ah, I, I got my buddies, right? This is really good.

My wife's got her buddies. It's really good. But listen, if your primary companions are still your old friends and you go with them and she goes with them, or you go with him and he goes with them, that's not healthy. I'm gonna give you one more. And I, listen, take it, take it, take this.

If you're married, you do not need a best friend of the opposite sex. Okay? Am I saying you can't have friends if you're a male that are females? I'm not saying that if you're a female, I'm say you can't have friends that are males.

I'm not saying that. But you cannot have your primary friendship, uh, with someone of the opposite sex. It just, it just doesn't work if you're married. Okay? So just, it's just a truth. It is, right? So one of the greatest value added to a marriage is good friends who are pursuing the same things that you are pursuing.

So what are we gonna do? We gotta have the tough conversation, right? We gotta recognize it. We gotta, we gotta address it. We gotta say it out loud. Yep. This is not healthy for us. Yep. We're getting drugged down. Yep. You submit it to God. God, we need this to change in our lives.

And you create a plan. You get in the group, you, you, you start to, you, you look for, you look for God. Bring people across our path. You create a plan that gets you in a different spot. All right? Listen, there's lots of potholes. Those are three here.

Here's what, here's what I, I'm, I'm gonna end with this. It's gonna take courage. It's gonna take courage for you to address these. And in just a little bit, your cp your host is gonna come up and they're gonna just, they're gonna, we're gonna talk about a tool and they're gonna, we're gonna offer a tool, um, that can really help you do these things, okay?

And, and get you started on the path. So here's my prayer. My prayer is this. Have the courage to be reconciled, to get this marriage better and better and better. It'll only do you good, but a hundred years from now, it'll pay. So, God thank you. We give this to you.

In the name of Jesus. We ask of our marriages to be reconciled with you, with each other. The name of Jesus. Amen. Amen.